mino / 26.11.19 v-live

*Mino did a long explanation/apology of what he said the day before so I thought it would be better to put it up on here than as a long thread! I apologize in advance for any typos or errors. V-Live audio quality is not the best ^^;*

 

“I decided to do a V-Live broadcast early today because I think I said some things yesterday that could’ve been misunderstood. First off I wasn’t trying to scold our fans or anything like that. But I guess as I was talking yesterday I think I could’ve sounded pretty worked up. I saw a comment earlier — it was the perfect misunderstanding — 'A piece of gossip, a snack to chew up.' I said that last night, but I didn’t mean it in a negative way. I think that’s just what my job is. I’m not trying to put myself down, it’s just a given. What I meant by that was… I’m someone who receives love, interest, someone who can influence a lot of people. You can meet up with your friends and talk about celebrities — and that’s becoming a snack to chew on, becoming a piece of gossip. I’m just one of the many figures who would be in that position. I was just talking about me. I wasn’t trying to belittle myself.  

 

And… hm… how should I say this? Well—this was something I said yesterday, right? 'Saying this and that to our staff… there will definitely be things that you guys don’t know about, but they are trying their best.' I said this, but the fans said things like… I wasn’t trying to say, '[I choose] My team over my fans.' Do you get what I mean? I just don’t want the people around me to be hurt or in pain. Same with the fans. I’m not the best or the most eloquent speaker, so if any of you are feeling hurt over what I said yesterday, I’m sorry. If I don’t have the fans, I wouldn’t exist. You know? I’m a creator… Someone needs to watch and listen to [what I make] for me to exist. That won’t change. 

 

This…this is really difficult. I receive the interests of many people, and many fans will have different needs. I’ll do this hair, and there will be people who like it, people who don’t. Not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just a given based on the job that I have. But in regards to that… I mean I wish I could do everything everyone wants me to do. I want to satisfy everyone. But I also want to do things I want to do. These requests, these needs—as the number fans increase, the needs would increase too, right? But then I’m incapable of carrying out everything you guys want me to do. I get stressed out by that. So ultimately my decision was thinking, 'Would it be best for me to do what I want to do?' That’s what I wanted to say yesterday. 

 

I didn’t turn on V-Live yesterday to talk about all that stuff. I was painting and wanted to share what I was doing with all of you … I always want to show you the healthy, happy part of me. I don’t want to make you guys worry. That’s my biggest wish. But sometimes, I do kind of want to make it obvious that I’m tired. So yeah. That’s what that was. 

 

Like SeungYoon, who consistently checks his social media like Twitter for example…that's just not my personality. I can't do that. But something I saw that really shocked me was—someone was really upset—they said, 'Are we just an ATM to you?' ... 'An ATM'... and like... 'If that's what we are then quit being an idol.' ... If I...really felt that way [about you guys] from the start, I probably wouldn't have done this. I wouldn't. Instead, I would be like...(makes these exclamations&gestures)..! I just--I don't know. Of course, I'm not degrading parts of my job. But if I really thought of you guys that way I probably would've gone out of my way to do whatever I can to show the cool, pretty side of me to the fans, to work super hard to meet the various needs that are out there. But I've realized that if I do that I lose myself, who I am. So I decided not to be that way. I'm not saying that the [cool, pretty] sides are sides that I don't want to show you. Or for example what I hear the most—when fans say they want to see me with my bangs down. It's not that I don't like having my bangs down! In seasons when I want to have my bangs down I do, and in seasons when I don't want to have my bangs down I don't. I can listen to those wishes anytime. But thinking that I consider you guys as ATMs or something... What can I do? I would've done something, right? I would've done anything, right? But it's not like that. Like I said earlier I'm a creative, I'm a musician, I draw, I want to be someone who influences a lot of people. The commonality that these people share is that they aren't in it for the money but rather... Let's say I make a song. I have someone listen to it. They like it. I draw something. I show it to someone. They like it. 'This is amazing. It's so touching. This is the best.' These [creative] people thrive on these kinds of compliments, acceptance, and acknowledgment. And I'm one of them. So I want you to know I've never ever thought of you guys that way [as ATMs]. So yeah. At the same time, don't worry too much, don't worry about me. 

 

Going all out with the support and almost attacking… So everything I’ve said up until this point, it wasn’t directed at every single fan. Same with what I’m saying right now. I'm speaking to the majority. Just to someone out there. But when I first heard about this ‘attack of support’… Well, that’s not the context of what I was saying yesterday. Yesterday was more about things that had built up and that I had been feeling inside over time. Also sort of in light of the devastating news in the celebrity-realm recently…and within culture, a combination of all that. I was just trying to talk about it in a general, all-around aspect, and I think while doing that I caused misunderstandings. Maybe the timing just wasn’t good? I wasn’t in any way trying to neglect/disrespect you guys or anything of the sort. Of course you can ask for things/make requests. And I know you did it with consideration and care. But…I don’t know how to say this. So far as we’ve been active and promoting, whether it be the staff, managers, stylists, everyone else…there was actually a ton of changes. You might not know, but there were a lot of changes. Just when we were getting to know each other, or we were beginning to care for one another, or finding out the style that suited me the best… there were external and internal issues that occurred—things that I'm not allowed to explain the details of—that caused a lot of things to change and switches. So we kind of have trauma about this. But despite all of that, we are working well in sync with the [current] staff members for a long time now, and despite all that… I don’t get to hear about the great pains you guys went through [to make that decision] in one sitting, but I hear only the message of it and I wonder, wouldn’t anyone feel a level of dislike begin to build up, especially with the trauma that they have? 'Switch out the people you’re working with.' Even hearing that could make someone think… 'What are they trying to say?’, don’t you think? 

 

Ultimately, even though you do/say those things, yet there are no major changes, or there is still a similar/consistent kind of styling…I don’t know if I should get into all this internal stuff but… this is just from my perspective. I’m not speaking for the other members, just me. My way of looking at things. There are certain fits and styles that each individual will like. I’m the kind of person who will focus and obsess over things in the moment. So for example, let’s say I’m obsessed with the suits. I then get really stubborn and adamant about wearing that suit-fit again and again. But I guess at the end of the day, in some ways, it means that I wasn’t very good at taking opinions and suggestions to mind. However, the fans wouldn’t be aware of that truth, so they could get upset about it… So I think that’s why yesterday I got worked up when I said that you should talk to me for requests. But I went too far with my harsh tone and if that was misunderstood I am sorry. But anyway…I don’t even know what I’m trying to say right now... Anyway, let's just...

 

It’s difficult to show a variety of sides/faces every single day. Whether it be through interviews or other things, we want to show you new things every time. We’ve spoken a great deal about wanting to do it, too. We always yield to that. But it’s not easy to show you something new each time. So often, it could be a consistent style, or whatever. That’s just what it is… Let's just understand each other a little bit, gradually.

 

Oh, right. That ATM comment from earlier, telling me to quit being an idol. That’s a malicious comment. I normally don’t pay any mind to it. It’s become a habit to react that way. I’m the kind of person who tends to avoid looking at malicious comments that I know I will be hurt by. But I think that comment was coming from a place of misunderstanding. ‘If you don’t like being an idol then just quit.’ I never said anything negative about being an idol. I think just the term 'idol' in Korea... its connotations... have been negative for quite some time now. A long time ago, when I was younger [and I would hear that word] I would think, 'Wow... hip hop!' or something like that. But now, as a K-Pop star, as an idol, I feel a lot of pride and responsibility. As someone who makes music to be enjoyed by the general public, I want to be a good influence. I'm so proud of all of that. And I'm fine with that [being an idol]. Of course, as I'm getting older now—though I'm still young—sometimes when I'm wearing something that's kinda over-the-top and I have to [act cute] or whatever in it, it can make me think I'm being cringe-y, and that can be a bit tiring. But at the same time, some people may like doing that, some may not. There's a difference. But I've never once thought about any of this in a negative way. 

 

Anyways, yeah. I dunno. In some ways, I thought to myself that I was being too rash with what I said [yesterday]. Like maybe it would've been better not to say anything. Just show the good/happy sides. But I thought that our relationship was at a point where what I said could be understood. Of course, in the process, I spoke in a way that could've definitely caused misunderstandings. For sure. 

 

I'm okay. I just want all of you to be alright. There's no need to worry about me. 

 

Anyway...go have dinner. I'm gonna go eat too. Bye!"